‘Boards Don’t Hit Back’?
As you might have guessed, this wasn’t my first choice. I’ve spent the past month or so deliberating over this blog malarkey. Procrastinating (no change there), researching and formulating a dead cool domain name only to draw a complete blank.
Initially, I went with ‘Chemical Smile’ (too edgy), then ‘Over The Line’ (too yoof), before settling upon ‘God Loves His Children’. But recently, I had another change of heart. Well, I realised how much of a cunt it made me sound. So, I’m sticking with BDHB (if you’re into the whole brevity thing).
How did I get here? In the spirit of disclosure and bearing in mind short attention spans (mainly my own), I’ll answer honestly and succinctly:
Illness.
At the unreasonable age of 46 and following 25 years spent in an ultimately ineffectual pursuit of sex, drugs and rock ‘n’ roll, my body has popped over for a cup of coffee, sat down, looked me straight in the eye and asked:
“What the FUCK are you doing? This? AGAIN?!”
I knew this was going to happen. I thought it might’ve been sooner as I was diagnosed with gastritis and chronic pancreatitis in the early 2000s. Only this time anaemia popped in along with IBS, nocturia and diabetes. And a few bits and pieces. Some other stuff.
My GP said if I’d carried on like this, I’d be dead in six weeks.
Six. Weeks.
Not months.
Weeks.
Following two hospitalisations I’ve spent the past three months convalescing back at home closely monitored by my Mum. The doctor prescribed a whole gang of pills including three kinds of heavy duty opioid painkillers which often leave me feeling completely spaced. Perks.
I’ve lost two stone in weight and feel fucking terrible. The ship’s sinking and sinking fast.
However I’m beginning to turn things around. No doubt, I’m making it sound considerably worse than it is. I’m sure there’s plenty of cunts with considerably worse health problems. I’m fortunate to live in a lap of luxury and have hundreds of books, movies and PS5 games to keep me occupied. I’ve started writing again too.
Anyway, welcome to my tiny corner of the world wide web. No doubt you’ll pick it up as you go along and please bear with me if I happen to tweak, redesign and rewrite sections without warning.
I may just abandon this fucking thing and engage in something far more constructive instead.
We shall see.