‘Boards Don’t Hit Back’? Hmm, well, as you might have guessed, this wasn’t my first choice. I’ve spent the past month or so deliberating over this blog malarkey: procrastinating (no change there then), researching and attempting to formulate a hopefully cool-sounding domain name, only to draw a complete blank. Initially, I went with ‘Chemical Smile’ (too edgy), then ‘Over The Line’ (too yoof), before settling upon ‘God Loves His Children’. But recently, I had another change of heart – or, rather, I realised how much of a ponce it made me sound – so I’m sticking with BDHB (if you’re into the whole brevity thing).
How did I get here? In the spirit of disclosure and bearing in mind short-attention spans (mainly my own), I’ll answer honestly and succinctly:
Illness.
At the unreasonably advanced age of 46 and after 20+ years of persistent boozing, my body – notably the pancreas – has finally called a halt to proceedings. In addition to chronic pancreatitis, we have gastritis, anaemia, IBS, nocturia, type 2 diabetes, some liver damage and the prospect of teetotalism to contend with.
For the past three months and following two hospitalisations, I’ve been recuperating at home – being closely monitored by my Mum – and more importantly keeping well away from the demon drink and instead necking prescribed medication with abandon. Consequently, I’ve lost two stone in weight and I’m a noticeably thinner shadow of my former self and it seems like another health issue surfaces every other day. The ship is sinking. However, my mind remains sharp and I have some unparalleled medical assistance to keep me breathing. No doubt, I’m making it sound considerably more serious than it is; I’m sure there are other people with considerably more complicated and intolerable health problems than my own. I’m fortunate to live in reasonable comfort and have an assortment of books, movies and PS5 games to keep me occupied as I convalesce.
I’ve asked myself on many occasions why I’m bothering with this online journal. At one point, with so much time on my hands, I did consider travelling the world and using a blog to detail my adventures. But in reality, who was I kidding? With a few notable exceptions, I’m wary of people and I’m too much of a homebody to venture far beyond the relative safety of these four walls. Thinking about it, I do recognise this whole experience as a journey of sorts but frankly, the blog exists purely for my own amusement.
Anyway, welcome to my tiny corner of the world-wide web. No doubt you’ll pick it up as you go along and please bear with me if I happen to tweak, redesign and rewrite sections without warning. The structure is likely to be q.
Indeed, I may just delete the whole bloody thing and engage in something far more constructive instead.
We shall see.